Getting your kids to open up to you can be daunting. You might get a one word or two words response such as "okay," "fine," "yes," "don't know, " and sometimes you might be greeted by a loud silence.
All these depends on the kind of relationship with your kids,make yourself available, build trust and make it a daily routine to connect with them, You can take them out as children tends to open up in casual settings. Be honest with them, don't tell them you were perfect when you were their age, such talk can put them off.
Do not compare them with other children in your neighborhood or that you know elsewhere when trying to correct their wrongs and be constructive when pointing out their fault.
Improve your communication skill,especially your listening skills.Your relationship with your children cannot thrive without effective communication. Patiently allow them to say what they have to say,don't interrupt or complete their words for them. Whenever they come to you with a problem, don't be quick to offer solutions, brainstorm with them to find a solution to that problem.
It's okay to make suggestions, but if you are always to quick to provide solutions, you will eventually make them feel incompetent.Sometimes,let them figure out the solution themselves and this way you will be grooming confident and independent children.
While conversing to your children,talk to them as if you are talking to your friends. Don’t be interrogatory or ask judgmental questions like "Is this the kind of company you keep?" Or " Can't you use your brain?" Learn to respect their feelings and don't talk them down. Be polite and friendly and your children will open up to you.
This of course, doesn't rule out firmness and discipline while correcting their wrongs,to end this article here is what an elderly woman said about relating with youth "These young ones are not doing anything worse than we did when we were their age. Come to think of it, we say they have no respect for their parents and elders; some abuse drugs,some mean, violent and mannerless; some have babies outside wedlock;and some are into all sort of things. But wait a minute, these were the same things our parents said about us."
Shalom!
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